“Someday my Chris Keller will Come”
With the exception of going to my yoga class, I feel like I had the most unproductive of weekends. The only thing I pretty much did was watch the entire third season of “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” on Hulu, and three seasons worth of “Oz” on dvd. After hearing that I had never seen it, my editor insisted that I borrow his “Oz” dvds, “Especially Season Two” he said, “That’s when the hot gay sex starts up.”
My favorite storyline to follow is the Beecher-Keller-Schillinger triangle, partially because I’ve always loved Lee Tergesen – who plays Tobias Beecher. He’s my hands down favorite, I think it’s because if I went to prison I’d be a Beecher; I’d get turned out by someone and then bullied until I snapped and then go batshit insane. Every version of Beecher is sexy to me: nerdy Prag Beecher, mutton chop crazy Beecher, mourning the death of his son Beecher — all of them. One time, when walking through the West Village, I saw Tergese
n very animatedly telling a story to some friends, “Oz” was currently on the air, but I hadn’t seen it, so I kept referring to him as “the guy who played Chet in the t.v. version of ‘Weird Science’“.
And I’ve decided that my next dysfunctional relationship must be with someone as sexy and completely fucked up as Chris Keller – played by Christopher Meloni- Beecher’s on-again, off-again prison lover. Even though I don’t know how keen I would be to having my lover intentionally break both my arms.
But the all time greatest thing about “Oz”, the absolute best thing about watching it, is the deeper into the seasons you get, the more dick you get to see. Whether it’s someone in the shower, getting thrown into the hole or even Luke Perry being forced to walk completely naked across the M-Unit by the Aryan bikers, they’re always some dick to see.
Currently Watching: “Oz” Season Five, Episode 4
Currently Wearing: Gray H&M wifebeater with orange trim, white 2(x)ist microbriefs.